Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
