You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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