Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize