Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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