i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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