Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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