Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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