Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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