***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
