On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My life is pants optional.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
