I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
