Don't make out with my wife yet
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
