I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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