So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Randomize
