Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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