Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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