Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
