Quick, to the slutcave!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
