That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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