The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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