I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
