used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
