Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
