Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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