He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
