tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
