You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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