This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
