But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
