fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
