he wants to bone in the snuggie
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
