he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
