i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
