Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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