Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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