lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
