After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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