He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
