shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Of course I have a pirate flag
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
