YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
