don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
