i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
