I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
