You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
