Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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