i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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