at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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