In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
