Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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