yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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