we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
