Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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