eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I will be naked everywhere
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
