Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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