I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I am naked and annoyed.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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