She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
