Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
