Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
