Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
