i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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