it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
