my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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