At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
